I am a series regular Chapter 39

I finished shooting the pilot . It went great. I was relaxed and my scenes went great. The show was picked up for another 5 episodes and we were ready to start shooting when Screen Actors Guild went on strike.

So now I had to wait. So here I was in a unigue position of having no agent and a TV series. I didn’t worry because the other 5 episodes were guaranteed so big money was coming. I had some clout around the theater people as getting cast in a TV series for CBS that was to be shot in New York was probably the most desirable situation an actor could be in.

While waiting for the strike to end I was cast in a show at Ensemble Studio Theater by a up and coming director. She was young but very smart and aggressive. She went on to become one of the top film casting directors in the business.

The play was called “Gray Spades” about hipsters from the late 40’s. I had done this play before which the director had seen at the Actor’s Studio. She picked it because she was a rich girl from Canada and wanted to do something very edgy to impress people with her versatility.

The play was written about the streets of Newark.New Jersey in the late forties after ww11. The main characters were junkies and before rehearsals started I had to translate the dialogue for the director. She was a hustler and when the play opened for it’s short run the audience was filled with agents and casting directors. After the run I got a call from a major theatrical agent and now I had an agent. Finally the actor’s strike was over and I could begin shooting my TV series.

Doing the pilot. Chapter 38

I started on the pilot in 2 weeks and I was ready. The money was more than I ever had at one time my whole life. This was to be my first acting job in front of a film camera.

We shot my scenes on the streets of New York and I felt like a real movie star as spectators would watch and you could see the respect and awe in their faces as I walked near them going to the set. One time an actor that I knew came in to do extra work. This particular guy would tell me that I was a fool for working for no money when I was doing off-off. When he saw that I was not only a principle but a regular, he asked to be excused, he said he was sick and had to go home. The guy could not accept that someone he thought was inferior to him rise to the top while he was doing extra work which is the dregs of show business. I never saw this actor again.

Getting this job changed my life , mostly to the better but their were some negative consequences. Up to this time all my actor friends were struggling actors working as waiters or cab drivers. We would comfort each other in our misery of the struggle.

Now I went from a struggling actor to the fast track of the business and as anyone knows a TV series can lead to fame and fortune in a short period of time. Friends that I had got drunk with, friends that I performed plays with me in the outer reaches of off-off, shunned me and treated me with suspicion as if I had betrayed them. They assumed that I would change so they beat me to it by not saying hello to me when we met unless I acknowledged them first.

I should have been more understanding but I wanted them to be happy for me so I retaliated by walking away from a lot of old friends who I felt were not true friends as they were jealous. But in looking back I am sorry for the way I reacted to their insecurity. I know how painful it can be to give everything you have to make it as an actor and to see someone who you think you are better than, all actors think they are the best, have some success while you languish in shit jobs, laying awake at night worried that you will end up in poverty with no children, alone and broke. I know because I have felt that way.

Going for the Gold Chapter 37

After I received my second callback for this pilot for a prime time tv series I had to have someone to handle any negotiations that may arise. I was friendly with a assistant casting director that was going out with a friend of mine. She told me that her boss wanted to manage some actors on the side. I guess it wasn’t a conflict of interest but I asked, “What about me?”.

The nx day she got back to me and said this big CD would handle any negotiations if necessary. So now I had a manager and no agent. A couple of days later my new manager called me and said I had another callback for the pilot. It was the same material and when I went in there were about 20 people in the room for my audition.

I auditioned and I thought I had a good response. When I went out of the room I recognized some of the up and coming actors in New York. I felt pretty good about myself having gone that far with such a big potential job. A couple of days later the cd’s assistant called me in a state of amazement, I was going to the network for another callback. This meant that the producers wanted me but the network had to approve of me. She seemed astonished that I was going to the network, it was a big deal to her, to me I already had a morale victory coming this far and to me this was just another audition.

The day came for the network audition. I had to go over to the network for the audition. When I got there, in the waiting room there were several other actors reading for different parts in the pilot and probably reading for my part as the producers had to send over more a few choices for each part.

When it was my turn to go in I was taken to a theater with more people in the audience than a lot of off-off that I have done. I read and got some good laughs. The nx day the assistant cd called me in pure amazement. “You got the part, you got the part”. She said it over and over again like she had seen a ghost.

Reading for TV pilot. Chapter 36

So I made up my mind to call this big casting director that was in the process of casting a pilot for a tv series. I knew he had seen me in the play so I called and the assistant on the other end ask who I was and when I gave my name, to my surprise, the big cd got on the phone.

I said to him you must know who I am as you saw the play that I was in. He said he didn't remember but to come in for a interview.

I went on the appointment the next day and he said there was one character in the pilot that they had not cast yet but I was not right for it but why not come in for a reading. He gave me just the sides to the character and made an appointment for me to read for a couple of the producers the nx week.

The show, as I could see from the sides ,was a comedic cop show and my character was a pickpocket who works for the police. I went over these sides constantly for the nx couple of days and when the day came I was relaxed and prepared.

When I went in the room there were about 10 people there including the 2 main producers plus this tv director from LA. I read got a few laughs and left.

I thought I did well and a couple of days later I got a call back. They asked me before the callback if there was some agent or manager that could handle any negotiations that may arise. I said I would have to think about it as I still did not have much relationships with agents or mangers.

The play runs and then ends? Chapter 35

The play ran for six months. All during that time I did 195 performances straight without missing one performance. I went on wether I was sick or with a hangover.

After a couple of months into the run it became like a revolving door with actors coming and going as different members of the original cast left to do other acting jobs and their parts filled by graduates of the famous CONSERVATORIES. It was amazing. I knew plenty of actors that would sell their souls to work at this theater but parts were given to upper middle class graduates of these CONSERVATORIES wether they had great talent or not.

I felt very fortunate to be working there and as a matter of fact I thought I had made it in the acting business which turned out to be a huge mistake.

The play finally came to an end but I had not secured an agent. I didn't care that much as now I was back on Unemployment and living the bum's life again. I thought for sure that the other big time theaters in town would bring me in as I had done so well , at least I thought, at the big prestigious theater. It's not that I was rejected by the agents but that I made no attempt to seek them out.

Now I was not content to go back to off-off but waited and waited for the big call that was surely to come. After a few months of nothing I got off my ass and started to check out what was going on out there. I discovered that the producers of a pilot for TV that was going to be shot right here in New York, saw the play I did at the big theater. Well, if they saw the play they saw me and I was good so therefore I Will contact them directly without an agent which was forbidden.

The Run Continues. Chapter 34

The play continued on it's run and when it was reviewed by the major newspapers in town , it received good reviews with some of the cast receiving great reviews, while the major reviewer said of me that I "evoked laughter". I guess that's good for me, the other cast members received much more descriptive notices.

The big producer moved the play to a bigger theater and we all received new and more lucrative equity contracts.

Around this time I made some serious mistakes concerning my overall career. I still had no agent but I didn't care. I was making money as an actor and as far as I was concerned I had MADE It. I was in a hit off-Broadway equity show so instead of trying to parlay this into bigger and better things I reacted like a sailor in a whore house.

This probably turned off a few people at the time but I didn't care or know what I was doing. I was , and I am not saying this in any boastful way, but I was stealing the show. I had 3 scenes, the first scene in the play where my character is introduced which got a lot of laughs. Then I came out in the beginning of the second act and audiences laughed at my entrance like they were glad to see me. Finally I came out at the very end and closed the show.

What pissed me off at the time was most of the cast would get auditions for films and Tv and I would get nothing. The industry still was not sure about me and I probably helped that perception at the time.

Reading for a big film Chapter 33

One day soon after the play opened I received a call from a big film casting director. She called my answering service and left a message to call her.. I did and after several tries I got her on the phone.

She asked why my agent didn't submit me for this film she was doing. I told her I didn't have an agent and she said why not are you nuts or something how come no agent has ever signed you. I said I don't make rounds and people come to me I don't go to them. Anyway, she made an appointment for me to meet the star of the film.

The film was about tough guys from the Bronx so I was to be street. Now street was who I was. I dressed up for the part as the real tough guys that I knew from the hood never looked dirty burt actually were sharp dressers.

When I went in there were other actors waiting and all were dressed in torn jeans and leather jackets, each looking like a poor imitation of Marlon Brando. When it was my turn to go in, I mentioned that to the big star that even tough guys went dressed up for a job interview and that those guys outside were not true to the character. The big star seemed to like that and sure enough i got a callback to meet the director.

The Cd told me to be more street for the meeting. Now I had not seen a script and had no idea who the character they were considering me for. So I went in with the opposite of what they were looking . I played the tired street, the guy coming home from a long days work and just wanted to lay down. What I mean is, I played naive.

The audition was in a fancy apartment in the heart of mid-town . When I went in I remarked "What a beautiful Place" like I had never seen a fancy place before and the director talked to me like I was there to fix the plumbing. The actual character was a gangster and I didn't get the part. I played down who I was, let me tell you I could kick all these tough guy actors asses. I am a vet. I survived the navy but here I made the wrong choice. If I could have seen a script and known maybe i would have got the part. I can be many things, I have many sides but I have to know what side to show.
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The Best of Times. Chapter 32

After this initial performance the rest of the run ran smoothly. The audiences were picking up on the play's light humor and I was getting real good feed back, mainly from the audience which now was in the palm of my hand.

Here I was, a working class guy from Queens doing an Off-Broadway show in the most prestigious theaters in New York. I noticed some resentment from some of the people who worked backstage or in the offices. After-all these people have been kissing ass for years to get the opportunity I was getting without having to pay thousands upon thousands to go to CONSERVATORIES of theater.

During this initial period of rehearsals and workshop I mainly kept my mouth shut and went along. I should have used this time to call agents and try to move my career up but I didn't. I felt I had made it already and why should I start kissing ass now. The show was pulling in full houses every night but we were not reviewed because the play was still considered a workshop production.

The big producer, seeing he had a hit on his hands, moved the play to a bigger theater, we received a raise in pay and now would be getting much wider exposure with all the big shot reviewers from NY Times etc. coming in to review the show.

First Performance.{ continued} Chapter 31

After the incident with the security guard I went back to the dressing room as angry as I had been since my navy days. Here I am, making my off Broadway debut in a comedy and the security guard almost throws me out of the theater.

Now this play was very light and if the audience didn't see the comedy, they would hate it. Anyway when I got back to the dressing room I wanted to go back and beat the shit out of the guard for ruining my debut. Luckily another actor was there and talked me out of it.

I had 2 other scenes in the play but I can't remember how they went but looking back, it was my "exciting sense of authenticity" as one critic called a past production of mine. After the show the other actors in the play and the director were very sympathetic to me and said it was a compliment, which it was.

Going home, after a couple of drinks in the bar across the street from the theater, I doubted myself. Was the lack of response from the audience from the security guard situation or that I was now in front of a sophisticated New York audience which didn't accept me.

I decided I would go with what I had and if they didn't like it, screw'em.

First Performance Chapter 30

Rehearsals went pretty smooth and I was given liberty to find the charactor on my own. The style was fast paced , so any pauses or slowdown of delivery had to be completely justified.

Now as I said , I was playing a homeless guy in this comedy and when we had rehearsals and run throughs anyone watching my scenes would laugh and this gave me a lot of confidence in what I was doing. I knew if I did well here in this cathedral of theater, it would open up many doors for me in acting and life would be rosy after that.

The first performance came in this workshop production but the audience was full of people. I had the first scene in the play. This was my big moment. Even though it was still a workshop production, that was good enough for me.

I entered thru the audience while the lead character was on stage hailing a cab. I was to walk thru the audience, walk up on stage and ask for a quarter.

Well. the play started and the lead was out yelling "Taxi Taxi". I walked in and just as I was about to step on the stage, an arm grabbed me that I didn't expect and I swung around angry. It was the security guard thinking I was a real homeless and tried to throw me out. I whispered loudly and angry that I was in the show. The guard not sure let me go but stood right there ready to jump on me if I was lying. This was witnessed by the whole audience and put a sense of danger in the scene. This would have been good in a drama having the audience's acute attention but this was a comedy. I said my first line and the security guard went away but no laughter from the audience at all for the whole scene. (continued)

First Rehearsal Chapter 29

The first day of rehearsal came and I was ready. With the pressure off my acting career, I was able to relax and get my self ready for this possible life changing event. I worked out every day and was back in boot camp navy shape.

The character I was playing was somewhat similar to Jerry from "Zoo Story" but not as deep. While Zoo Story had a lot of black humor, this play was a comedy and the guy I played although homeless and desperate did not have Jerry's depth. It was certainly a showy part.

The first day came and we rehearsed in a rehearsal space off the grounds. It was easy as we just got acquainted and and then went to lunch. On the way, the director said he wanted my character to really seem like he lived in the street. Now there are 2 kinds of homeless, the ones like Jerry, who on the surface seem normal and the others who almost show off the fact that they are homeless in the way they dress and I don't mean old cloths but a costume, like something out of Dickens.

Well, anyway when the director said that to me, just then this guy came by with a overcoat that was dragging on the ground, a walking stick that he did not seem to need and a British type military hat. That's what I'm going to become. A homeless guy making a statement.

Waiting to Begin. Chapter 28

So after I was approved by everyone , I had to wait 2 months for the play to go into rehearsal. A feeling of contentment came over me. Doing a play at this theater was what I was trying to do since I became an actor and that was to add some prestige to my career. This would do it.

The O 'Neil was great and it led to this job. But now I was to be put in front of the most sophisticated audience in New York. I would be reviewed by the NY Times, I would be on stage with not only good but connected actors. There were other plays being done at this facility with actors who were established not only on stage but film and TV.

For the first time since I went on this path I relaxed. I didn't pick up a copy of backstage. In fact I was offered to do a part in Pittsburgh, an equity show and I had to turn it down. When I told the CD what I was going to do , he said everybody wants to work their and I should take what is guaranteed now. he was right, there was no guarantee, someone could change their mind.

But I was going for the big bet. It was funny, when I told other actors I knew what was happening, they didn't seem too exited because after-all a lot of actors say they got this going or that, so until it actually happened it wasn't real.

Read for Big Producer. Chapter 27

The day came for the reading and the whole cast met at the theater. We were brought into the huge office of the BP.

My character opened the play. The character was a homeleess person who runs into a guy he went to school with and who was now very successful.

The reading went very well in the office and the director after the reading said it looked good but we wouldn't know his decision for a couple of days.

4 days later I received a call from the director saying that the BP wanted to try the play out as a workshop and that it was ok for me to do the part. He said I would receive a call from the casting director. Now I have been trying for a couple of years to get an audition or even an interview with this CD but to no avail.

When she called in a very cold voice and asked who my agent was. I said I didn't have one at the moment. The CD said I was being offered the part and do I accept. Of coarse I said yes and I do believe that she hoped I would say no. Rehearsals would begin in 1 month.

Always be Ready. Chapter 26

Back from the glory of the O'Neil to the front seat of a taxi cab. A movie that came out at that time was "Taxi Driver" starring Robert Deniro. The movie was haunting especially because I was back in the cab again. I saw the movie several times and would imitate DeNiro while driving. His performance in "Taxi Driver" was a insperation to me.

One day I received a call from a director that I had met up at the O'Neil. I did not work with him but he worked with one of the actors that I had worked with up there . He said that he was doing a reading for a major theater producer and he wanted me to fill in a part for a rehearsal. He said the actor doing the part could not make the rehearsal and would I mind just to read that part for the rehearsal.

Now as I still had no agent and wanted to do anything that got me close to the money , I said I would do it. The day of the rehearsal came and there were 10 people in the cast. All were on the fast track of acting. Signed with the best agents, graduates of Yale and Harvard and then there was me.

The part I was reading was very funny and when I read it with the lead actor, a yuppie to his genes, I got a lot of laughs. When the rehearsal was over, the writer of the play, who I just met, came over to me and asked how I liked the play. I told him, and it was the truth, that I really liked it. The director asked if I was available for the reading on the date for the big producer.

Well, I didn't have to look in my appointment book when I said yes. The other actor was not mentioned again and I was set to do the reading.

So this was some kind of sneaky audition in that if they didn't want me, there would be no hard feelings. What served me well was my growing experience working with new plays and my cold reading abilities. I do not mention names because I don't know the legalities but this was huge for me to be in the company of these high powered actors before the king of theater in New York.

In review Chapter 25

So what have we learned so far? One of the most important tool that is needed to be a good actor is concentration. You have to be in the moment always. What do I mean by this? All the research that is done , all the rehearsal that you have done all must be thrown out the window when you are entering a scene.

For example: if the scene calls for you to have a big argument with your mate when you come home from work, well first of all the character has not read the play so therefore, the only action you would have when you come home is to maybe just relax and have a drink after a hard day at work, but your mate interrupts you with something that makes you angry.

Now you don't walk in angry, you don't know what they will say, so your first action is to do whatever you do after a hard day. This is playing moment to moment. Concentration is needed to block out any distractions like a close up of you with the camera in your face.

The second is listening, let the other actors help your performance. The better they are , the better you are. There are too many actors that are afraid of working with really strong actors because they think people will not notice them . If you are listening and playing your character's Motivations then a good actor can only help you get there and the audience will be wrapped up in the scene and the story and that is why you are there in the first place.

I thought I was learning the craft of acting pretty good. The part that I neglected was the social and networking. I thought that just being a good actor was enough. I didn't think a good actor as myself would have to kiss ass. I was wrong.

After the O'Neil. Chapter 24

When I got back from Conn. I still had no agent but I was being offered really good roles Off-off. The most interesting role and play for me was "The Gentle People" by Irwin Shaw.

Now the character I played was written to be evil. Why I say this is because ,from my research, the writer wanted the audience to hate this character. It was written in the 30's and the character I played, Goff, was a metaphor for Hitler who was in power in Europe when the play was originally done.

I had played bad guys before but none with the intelligence and the audacity of this Goff. One of the things he does was to extort money from the father of a girl he was dating. To get into that mind I had to rationalize his actions. Goff felt if he did not dominate , he would be dominated. So his evil came out of fear. Again I kicked ass.

At the end of the play, these fishermen ,who I had been terrorizing , plan to kill me because ther was no other choice as the police were paid off by me. They took me out on their boat to take me to the other side of the river and when the time was right they hit me over the head and throw me out of the boat to drown.

When I was thrown over the audience would clap and cheer. If I could be so believable in comedy and drama, the big time in acting should be just around the corner.

Rolling in the Aisles! Chapter23

The first play that I was assigned was a black comedy. I played a whacky working class guy who pushed his family around. The rest of the cast were name and semi named actors who worked up at the O'Neil for fun and to make more contacts. They were known within the industry and certainly didn't the few hundred dollars a week pay.

While most of the cast and crew were friendly ,some looked at me suspiciously, as if I stole someone's identity and shouldn't be there. But their suspicion turned to awe when after a very intense rehearsal period I stole the audience as I have done many times in obscure off off theaters.

After the 3 day run of this play I expected some kind of offer from someone. I received several flirtatious looks from many of the females at the center and a couple of male ones but no professional offer.

It was strange to me who grew up wanting to be a baseball player and would fantasize hitting balls over the fence during a professional teams tryout and being signed to play center field for the New York Yankees.

I hit the ball over the fence,metaphorically speaking, in this first play but no reaction from big shots at the O'Neil. In fact after one performance of the play when I had kicked ass and had the audience rolling in the aisles, The artistic director came backstage afterwards and congratulated every one in the cast except me. He actually walked past me without a glance and shook another actor's hand.

The other 2 plays I did went equally well and now I took full advantage of the fringe benefits.

Intense Rehearsals! Chapter 22

Up at the O'Neil they housed us in the dormitory at Conn. University. Here I was with some prominent playwrights that have had their works produced Off-Broadway plus some that ,like me, this was their big break. The grounds were beautiful with volley ball courts and plenty of land to hang out.

At the O' Neil ,as I said before. 16 new plays were done over a 4 week period. Each play had a very extensive rehearsal for 3 days then 3 performances with book in hand. This was a great idea on their part. It took away the obligation of memorizing the lines and also created the illusion of a work, if given a full production, would be much better.

In fact for a lot of these plays, the best rendition they received was at the O'Neil because even though it was only 3 days of rehearsal, it was very intense. You were required to carry the book even if you knew your lines so the audience, full of producers and agents, could use their imagination.

Now to get their as an actor in just 3 days meant that you had to make choices, usually your first instinct, and follow an objective. I was working with some really good actors but I was not intimidated at all because I had gone thru the mill the last few years and was confident that I would be equal to the task. I had really good parts over the 4 weeks that but socially I was like a kid in a candy store with no one around. What I mean is, in stead of networking and basically kissing ass, I succumbed to every temptation that came my way. There were many interns there that had not yet graduated from the conservatories and would flirt and offer themselves. Here my instincts of a sailor overcame my better sense. But still this lead to an even better job.

First day on big acting job! Chapter 21

So I was hired to go up to Conn. for the Eugene Memorial Playwrights Conference . When I told the actors that hung out in Jimmy Ray's my good news they didn't believe me . You could tell from their reaction ,either no interest or a subtle jealous reaction. That was understandable as actors would bullshit about what they had going for them. Their skepticism didn't bother me as I was riding on cloud 9 and they would soon know the truth.

I was to stay at a dorm with the other actors. The pay was better than I would make in a month driving a cab. My first day I was to meet in Manhattan to take a chartered bus to Conn. This was my first real experience with class distinction in America. These were people who came from very upper middle class. Besides the name actors , there were what was considered up and coming actors on the New York scene. They went to fancy Acting CONSERVATORIES that charged 10's of thousands of dollars to attend. I must say my experience with this layer of humanity was very limited. I knew other actors that went to college for theater or film but mainly they came from the working class and were looking to better themselves. In the navy there were this type but they were officers and we didn't hang with them.

So I met where the bus was and this woman saw my pass and she thought I was part of the crew and asked me to help with the luggage. I helped because I didn't know that I was above that until one of the assistants discovered that I was one of the actors and pulled me off that duty. I finally got on the bus with all these rich people dressed in expensive and trendy casual clothes while I was wearing a semi- polyester shirt and levi jeans that were not worn out. I tried to keep a low profile on the bus but I felt I stood out as an alien.

The Big Break! Chapter 20

I was sort of worn out after all the work that I did, producing and acting at the same time. It must have shown in my work some how as I struck out in every audition I had for almost a year after the show closed. I was going thru one of the worst times I had since I ventured into acting. My girlfriend and I ended our relationship and now I was alone again. My career was going nowhere and the future was not looking good. I was 33 years old and back driving the cab,

One Thursday when Backstage came out listing auditions for the next week, there was an open call for the Eugene Memorial Playwrights Conference In Conn. I usually didn't bother with these open calls because the only reason they had them was because Equity required that they have an open call every few years.

This was a very prestigious conference as they would do stage readings of 16 new plays and were covered by all the producers and agents from NY and La. Name actors would jump at the chance to work there. But I figured why not go and maybe have some fun as auditions were a good place to meet women.

When I went to sign up there were already about 500 actors before me and the chance of even getting in to see them were slim. While waiting I saw a actress that I had done some readings with who was rehearsing something for PBS. She was very well known in the Business and had even won an Obie for an Off-Broadway play.

When I told her I was waiting for an interview for the Conference she said she had worked there many times and would recommend me for a audition. Well I went home without an interview that day and forgot about it. A couple of days later I received a call from the casting Director to come in for a audition.

I went in on the day of the audition and was seeing the material for the first time as they wouldn't give out any material before hand. It was a nice part and when I read, the director laughed so hard I thought he was having a heart attack. It went great, The nx day I received another call to read another play with another director, again it went great, 4 more times like this and the CD called me and asked if I had an agent. I said my agent died which was a lie and he said I was cast in all 4 plays that I read for and would be going to Conn. for 4 weeks with an equity contract. My actor friends at the bar were astounded as this was a choice job and I would be with name actors.