Rehearsals! Chapter 4

The director rehearsed us at someone's apartment for 4 days and we were going on for the last 3 performances. I had thought I did ok for the rehearsals and I was certainly prepared. I read the scenes that I was in over and over again every time I had some spare time. The final day of rehearsal was at the theater. I waited backstage for the director to get to my scenes to rehearse. When it was my turn and I walked on the stage my knees became weak as suddenly the reality hit me that I was going to perform on stage to a audience that paid money to see the show. Who did I think I was? I don't belong here. And the impulse came to me to just walk out , take the subway back to Queens and forget about acting..I had to call on every once of courage I had to see this thru.
The next day I was going on and I spent the whole day just going over my lines, over and over. My biggest fear was that I would forget my lines and look like a complete fool in front of the audience.