Zoo Story (continued) chapter 13

When it was time to open, I told everyone in the world about it. By this time I was totally consumed by this play and was ready to put it all on the line. I sent flyers to every agent in town and called the ones that said " L:et me know if your in something".

Opening night came and we had a full house, about 50 seats, with a few standing. The lights went up on Peter already on stage reading his book in the park. I entered thru the back of the audience. I stood there at the top of the theater just staring at Peter. Out of the corner of my eye I saw some people turn and look at me standing there. They must have wondered was I part of the show or was I some nut that wondered in from the street.

When I finally walked on stage, I could feel the tension in the audience. I could feel the creative juices in-me flowing. I was momentarily enjoying the feeling of having the audience's acute attention. I had to grab all the powers of my concentration and put the audience out of my mind. I had to grab onto Jerry, who was at the lowest point in his life while I was personally going thru the best moment of my life.

I concentrated on my overall objective which was to commit suicide. This triggered the minor objective of having a stranger kill me. And if I was going to get him to kill me I first had to gain his confidence.

My first line got a laugh. A release of tension laugh. Then it happened, the audience hung on every word I said and laughed 3/4ths the way thru until the play takes a dark turn.

At the end of the play when we went out to take our bows, the audience was silent at first then erupted in-loud applause and cheering. I looked out at the audience and there was many a wet eye. Granted there were some in the audience that knew me personally but most of them did not come to praise Caesar but to bury him. There were many friends who thought acting was a phase I was going thru, But now they knew. I saw it in the way they reacted when we went out afterwards I was like I had become someone else they didn't know. (continued)